


Funky Robot

by Daegaer



Category: RPF tennis
Genre: Crack, Gen, Robot AU, disco is not dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-24
Updated: 2009-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-05 04:57:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/38038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daegaer/pseuds/Daegaer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He knew he shouldn't have installed something he downloaded from the internet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Funky Robot

**Author's Note:**

  * For [louise_lux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/louise_lux/gifts).



> The idea for this bit me, and wouldn't let go. This is less on the bitter sweet poignancy and more on the crack. . .
> 
> Thank you to my speedy, crack-inured, beta-reader, Puddingcat.

It was not, the Rafael Nadal model 3000 thought, an optimal situation. Time and again he had admonished himself only ever to use software with valid security certificates, and yet – with the after match visit to a night club looming - the shareware music and dance package had been so tempting. It hadn't been till he had downloaded and run the program that he had become aware of the idiosyncratic nature of its architecture. Perhaps, he thought, he would stay in the hotel room with an excuse of mild illness. Then he realised that would mean Uncle Toni would want to check his software, and _that_ would cause his embarrassment program to execute as it had not since the time he had attempted to supplement his fuel with chocolate croissants. There was trouble ahead, and nothing to do but face the music. _ . . . and dance!_ the program suggested. His facial servomechanisms drawing his mouth into a thin frown, Rafa went to meet Roger Federer.

 

*

 

"I'm glad you could come!" Roger Federer said as they walked to the club. "What did you think of my match?"

"_That. Is. The. Way. I. Like. It,_" Rafa sang. "_Uh. Huh. Uh. Huh._" Oh dear, he thought. The expression on Roger Federer's face normally indicated a great deal of confusion in humans. He fervently wished the program hadn't added little dance moves to his unwanted burst of song. "_You. Played. In. The. Expected. Efficient. Manner. As. Always,_" he said quickly.

"Thanks! You did too – what are your plans now?"

"_Do. A. Little. Dance. Make. A. Little. Love. Get. Down. Tonight,_" Rafa sang. "_Get. Down. Tonight,_" he repeated, before he could switch his voice box off.

"I . . . see," Roger said. "Well, it's good to let off steam after a match."

Keeping the voice box switched off made Rafa's response blessedly silent, but in a fit of vindictiveness the program made him spin round on the ball of one foot and strike a dramatic pose, one hand on his hip, the other pointing straight for the sky.

"Are you all right?" Roger asked, looking up in some bemusement, and then at Rafa, seeming rather worried.

Rafa nodded in time to the beat of his internal clock, the tap of their feet on the pavement as they started walking again and the rhythm of life (which was a powerful beat). He sighed, and turned the voice box back on. "_Actually. I. Think. I. May. Have. Contracted. Some. Mild. Fever. Night. Fever. Ooh-aah. We. Know. How. To. Do. It._"

Roger put his hand on Rafa's forehead. "You're burning up, like an inferno!" _Burn, baby, burn, Disco inferno_, Rafa thought giddily. "You should go back to the hotel."

"_The. Numerous. System. Checks. In. Dealing. With. Unwanted. Software. Is. Causing. Me. To. Heat. Up,_" Rafa said apologetically. "_Er. I. Mean. I. Am. Experiencing. Some. Mild. Flu-like. Symptoms. I. Will. Function. Within. Expected. Parameters. Tomorrow. Tomorrow! I! Love! You! Tomorrow!_" He clapped a hand over his mouth. "_Sorry._"

"Get some rest," Roger said, and turned him around, giving him a little push back towards the hotel.

It was with some relief that Rafa boogied his way back to the privacy of his hotel room, evading Uncle Toni, to uninstall the program as quickly as possible, and to run a search and destroy with his anti-virus software. Then he lay on the specially reinforced bed and powered down to hibernation state for a well-deserved rest.

All in all it was a relief he had only downloaded the music and dance program and not the "World's Greatest Lover" package as well.


End file.
